So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
