my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
