Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize