covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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