Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
now i know why i became what i already was.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
