True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You don't make any sense
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