I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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