Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
