drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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