i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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