i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
