Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
