He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
