I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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