ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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