Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Your dad touched me again.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize