i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I FOUND THE LEGS
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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