Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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