let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You left your phone here
Wait...
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