Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
