Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
