I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Houston, we have a squirter
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
