You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize