Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
