I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
