apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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