I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
