Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
