Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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