I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
