So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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