OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
