ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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