Where is the hickey?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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