So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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