Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
