now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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