I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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