I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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