Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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