Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize