just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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