The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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