Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We don't watch enough power rangers
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
