I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Drunk is not a location!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
