You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
