So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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