I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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