Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
