So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
