this just has baby written all over it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
