While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize