If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
