How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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