so explain again why im purple
no
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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