hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
