hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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