I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
