It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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