If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize