I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize